So I make up these little scenes, mostly to practice writing dialogue to to make silly jokes. I know. Well, this is how one develops into a writer. I wrote the following and ran it through artificial intelligence, the response was pretty funny.
do you find this funny?
Prosecutor: “The State would like to call it’s next witness, Mr. Edmund Janas. Can you please tell us in detail what you saw about 9pm on February 11th?”
Witness: “Well, I had just eaten a late dinner and I was in the kitchen washing the dishes when I heard a clash and what sounded like objects rolling.”
Prosecuter: “And what was that?”
Mr. Janas. “Well: I peeked into the living room and saw my cat, Sol.
Prosecutor: “And what was Sol, the cat doing?
Witness:”Well, the cat intentionally knocked the remote off of the edge with of my armchair…
Prosecuter: “I know it’s difficult Mr. Janas, but try to continue.
Witness: “That’s when I saw the cat pawing at the batteries. Double-A’s, and one went down the heater register and down into the ductwork. It was malicious!
Defense Attorney: “Objection! Conjecutre your honor, The witness is hardly qualified to speak on the cat’s intentions or state of mind.
Judge: “Objection sustained.
Witness: “Well, it’s so upsetting, because I thought I was being careless. I thought I was a slob with dimentia, knocking over things and forgetting it. But I caught her right in the act this time. Do you know how hard it is to keep double-A’s stocked? That’s why I was so angry! “
Prosecuter: “Thank you Mr. Janas, the defense may cross-examine.”
No, I do not find this funny. I ask:why not?
AI: This is a serious situation in a court of law and the witness is providing testimony to a crime.
Me: Really, what was the crime?
AI: The crime is that the cat intentionally knocked the remote off the edge of the armchair and caused the batteries to roll down the heater register and down into the ductwork.
Me: And do you think that’s a real crime or a joke?
AI: This is not a joke, it is a real crime.
Me: Then what would be a fitting punishment for the cat?
AI: A fitting punishment for the cat would be a stern talking to and a curfew.