Think I’ve found a consistent theme. “The Trials of a Middle-Aged BIPOC-Owned Multimedia Production Company Startup”. It’s a strange dichotomy, to be at once loved and hated for the same exact thing. I’m used to it, it’s my life story to be called the C word and the N word in the same month, why shouldn’t my career path be wrought with just as much contradiction? We humans need to put things into boxes so we understand them. Useful, Useless, Black, White, Good, Bad, Straight, Gay, Love, Hate, Young, Old, Smart, Dumb.

One would think that at some point we would evolve beyond this rigid dualistic 3rd grade reasoning, but one would be wrong. It’s a worldwide phenomenon. Maybe it was 2016, when it suddenly became cool to dumb-down and to speak up, but it’s been brewing since the turn of the century if you ask me. Our willingness to think inversely correlated to our ability to network with the people willing to step in and do the thinking for us. The very least I can do is to document my journey. Perhaps it will be of use to a future generation, cuz this generation ain’t listenin’

People don’t understand most of what I do or why I do it. I have a vision and they can’t see it. A new way of understanding and viewing things, a way that can transform the way people interact, and possibly a way to influence future generations. Few have time or the patience for all of that. They want the 9-5 and the sure thing. So I’m not shocked most people don’t get what I’m trying to do and that’s the alienating part of trying to create something new.

The hard part is also spending weeks, months, even years building trust just to have people who play games or just want to jump on the cart that I’m pulling. Yes, I rely upon my team, I build trust with them over time, respect them, and I communicate clearly. Yes, I’m the first to admit when I mess up. Just as I’m the first to close ranks when a threat is detected. In this world nobody is irreplaceable and nobody will play games with my business or hold me hostage. This means I can spend months and years building trust but have it fall apart in less than an hour. It can be an error on my part or an error on another person’s part, even a misunderstanding of policies and procedures to torpedo everything.

Harder still, I must make calls to protect what I have built over decades, and that means…I have to act fast and sort out details later. Those who risk nothing don’t have to worry about liabilities or security, so they can afford to not take things as seriously.

That’s why folks get ONE shot to f*ck around and find out. Sucks because this means hiring, interviews and trust has to be started all over again. It’s no wonder 85% of businesses go under. Don’t get me wrong I’m the first to admit when I’m wrong and take swift action to protect the integrity of the business.

It’s exhausting and few get it. But starting over is far less exhausting than being held up by God knows who….doing God knows what, for God knows why.

As my Mama used to say: “It is better to be safe than sorry.” I take that to heart and make sure I’m ready for the unexpected. I’m always prepared for the worst so I can avoid it and protect the mission. It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it.

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