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So one day I ran out of ketchup and out of frustration and sheer boredom I asked AI to help me write a disco anthem. I was thinking something on the level of Donna Sommer’s Macarthur Park. The results were not so good.

Start operatic, then go full disco.

There’s no more ketchup on the shelf, Cupboards are bare
Gonna have to try something else, like a tangerine pear
Should have gone to the store when I could, now I’m in a bind
Gonna have to save it for the next time, not leave it behind

Chorus:
No more ketchup, what a bummer!
No more ketchup, no more dinner
I’m in a bind, need something to dip
Can’t have vegan nuggets without a little zip

Verse 2:
No more mustard or mayo, no more ranch in the jar
Gonna have to find something else, like some blueberry caviar
No more pickles or jams, no more syrup or honey
Fry up some Spam?
Gonna have to find something else, like some kiwi, horseradish, and pickle jam.
Oh damn.

Chorus:
No more ketchup, what a bummer!
No more ketchup, no more dinner
I’m in a bind, need something to dip
Can’t have vegan nuggets without a little zip

Bridge:
Ain’t no ketchup, but I ain’t done
Gonna mix some stuff up, gonna have some fun
I got some stale bread, some butter, and some cheese
Gonna put it all together, make some poor man’s crease

Chorus:
No more ketchup, what a bummer!

No more ketchup, no more dinner
I’m in a bind, need something to dip
Can’t have vegan nuggets without a little zip

Outro:
Poor man’s crease, made with ease
Gonna dip my nuggets, gonna make me please
No more ketchup, no more worry
Gonna have a feast, and call it poor man’s curry!

Curry!
Curry!
Curry!

SNL Sketch PItch: “Kyla’s Claymated News Segment”

SNL Sketch PItch: “Kyla’s Claymated News Segment”

Experience the news reimagined through boundless childlike imagination with “Kyla’s Claymated News Segment” – a brilliant new SNL sketch starring comedian Leslie Jones. Each week, Jones voices the rambunctious 8-year-old Kyla, who humorously recaps major headlines via delightfully unhinged claymation adventures. With ruthless honesty and absurdist flair, Kyla transforms complex current events into surreal clay comedy vignettes, creating a vital respite of irreverent escapism and satirical social commentary through an authentic youthful lens.

Treatment: SNL Sketch – “Long-form Greeting Cards”

Treatment: SNL Sketch – “Long-form Greeting Cards”

A dark but humorous and irreverent take on life’s uncertainties, this dark comedy SNL pitch sketch explores the premise of a greeting card company that hires cynical writers to pen blunt, morbid messages for major life events like graduations. The scene depicts a young graduate excitedly opening a card from his family, only to be met with a shockingly pessimistic diatribe about life being an unpredictable series of disappointments followed by death. As the graduate’s face falls in confusion, his family erupts in outrage and horror at the card’s dark musings.

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A comedic story of one cat owner’s experience with the messes that come with his cats and the Xfinity technician that had to deal with it all. Follow the narrator’s humorous and lighthearted journey with his cats and the consequences of their misbehavior.

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The War Within: Confronting Internal and External Racial and Cultural Pressures, Cultural Blindspots to Medical Objectification (Rev.4)

This post reflects on the experience of a biracial black man, discussing the complexities of being part of two different cultures and not fully understanding either. He talks about his experience with cultural references, barbershops and the dozens, as well as the racism he has experienced from both white and non-white people. He concludes that by staying true to himself and speaking his truth he can help bring about change.

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