Mental Health | Brego Arts & New Media: Brego.com https://brego.com Web3 Marketing and New Media Sun, 29 Dec 2024 19:09:23 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://brego.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/cropped-brego-circle-round-logo2-150x150.png Mental Health | Brego Arts & New Media: Brego.com https://brego.com 32 32 Reclaiming Our Integrity: Taking Ownership of Our Narrative and Asserting Our Autonomy https://brego.com/reclaiming-our-integrity-taking-ownership-of-our-narrative-and-asserting-our-autonomy/ Fri, 12 May 2023 22:04:13 +0000 https://brego.com/?p=4124 This article is about reclaiming one's integrity in the face of opposition. It discusses the importance of speaking out against injustice and oppression, challenging negative judgements, and practicing self-compassion, self-care, and self-love. It emphasizes the importance of reclaiming one's autonomy and creating a safe space for oneself by speaking up and speaking out. It also emphasizes the importance of taking ownership of one's narrative and defining oneself on one's own terms.

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Reclaiming Our Integrity: Taking Ownership of Our Narrative and Asserting Our Autonomy

I’m learning that integrity entails many different aspects. It can mean speaking out against injustice, or it could mean taking care of oneself. Integrity is something that is intrinsic to each of us, yet people can try to manipulate our boundaries, make us feel guilty or ashamed, abuse or blame us, and make us doubt our worth. It takes courage to recognize and reclaim our integrity in the face of such opposition. It so often feels like we can do everything right, yet still never measure up to the impossible standards of others. But realize you are enough, and judgmental and unhappy people are unable to give you acceptance because they so often do not accept themselves. You can’t get tears from a rock nor blood from a turnip, as it were.

Taking care of oneself, self-praise, and self-care can be powerful tools to start our journey back to wholeness. Yes, there are external things we feel compelled to do, like challenging the negative judgements of others. But it is arguably more important to practice self-compassion and positive self-talk to heal from any violations of our boundaries and to recognize our self-worth, which is intrinsic and not based on the judgement of others. It takes courage to reclaim our integrity, but by having a balanced approach and engaging in self-care and self-love, we can actively take ownership of our narrative and define ourselves on our own terms.

When our boundaries have been violated, it is important to practice self-compassion and positive self-talk. It is also important to remember that our self-worth is not determined by what others think of us. It is important to remember that we have the power to create our own narrative and that we are the only ones who get to define ourselves.

Reclaiming our integrity means actively engaging in self-care and self-love. We must be mindful of our physical, mental, and emotional needs, and we must understand that it’s perfectly normal and fine to state those needs. It in no way makes you “less than a man” to communicate what you feel and need. Let’s normalize men, especially young men and boys being able to talk about our issues without fear of judgement. Let’s create a safe spaces for ourselves. I believe by practicing positive self-talk and being kind to ourselves, we can heal from any violations of our boundaries. We must also be willing to challenge the negative judgements of others and to speak up when we feel our boundaries are being violated.

Creating a Safe Space

Creating a safe space for ourselves is an essential part of reclaiming our integrity. This includes cultivating an environment where we can be mindful of our physical, mental, and emotional needs without fear of judgement. To create this safe space, we can:

  • Get adequate sleep
  • Play sports or engage in physical activities that make us feel good
  • Read books on our favorite subjects
  • Practice self-care activities like yoga, meditation, or journaling
  • Surround ourselves with positive people who support us and lift us up

By engaging in these activities, we can create an atmosphere of self-acceptance and self-love which allows us to reclaim our integrity in the face of any opposition.

Challenging Negative Judgements

It is important to challenge the negative judgements of others and to speak up when we feel our boundaries are being violated. We must be willing to stand up for ourselves and our rights, even when it is difficult to do so. To challenge negative judgements, we can:

  • Take a step back and recognize our own worth, independent of the judgement of others
  • Practice positive self-talk and self-compassion
  • Remind ourselves that we are the only ones who get to define ourselves
  • Speak up in the face of injustice and defend our beliefs
  • Be kind to ourselves and be mindful of our own needs
  • Practice loving kindness, even with our enemies.
  • Seek justice and accountability through alternative routes.
  • Talk to others who are more knowledgeable to come up with positive strategies.

By actively engaging in these activities, we can reclaim our integrity and assert our autonomy in the face of any opposition. By actively taking ownership of our narrative and defining ourselves on our own terms, we can reclaim our integrity in the face of any opposition. Practicing self-compassion, positive self-talk, self-care, and self-love are essential to rediscovering our worth and creating a safe space for ourselves. Ultimately, reclaiming our integrity is a necessary step in asserting autonomy and standing up for our rights and beliefs. – Brego

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]]> Be Brave: Taking Risks and Embracing Failure https://brego.com/be-brave/ Mon, 05 Dec 2022 19:34:59 +0000 https://brego.com/?p=1799 Most of us are afraid of looking stupid, or at least I was for many years. But when we are born we are pretty vulnerable, and that vulnerability never really ended. We put on adult clothes and do adult things, but each of us are still pretty vulnerable. Yet we are still afraid of appearing […]

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]]> Most of us are afraid of looking stupid, or at least I was for many years. But when we are born we are pretty vulnerable, and that vulnerability never really ended. We put on adult clothes and do adult things, but each of us are still pretty vulnerable. Yet we are still afraid of appearing so. Somehow, eventually failing or losing becomes “Worse than death”. We become so worried of being known as a failure, of losing…or putting in effort without 100% guarantee of success, so we stop trying. “What will they say?” or “What will they think of me?” Businesses go untried, inventions un-patented, loves go unconfessed, and for what?

It may help to know they’re saying little good about you and they aren’t thinking much of you either, no matter what you do or how “good” you are, you will NEVER gain the approval of most people. In fact, very few in this life will approve of you wholly. And if you are to live bravely in this life, you will…on occasion…suffer losses. No way around it. And sometimes the hardest losses are the people we thought we could trust. One thing I do know, if you don’t risk anything you are sure to gain nothing, and if you never try, you’ll never know. #bebrave

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]]> The Benefits of Learning to Think for Yourself https://brego.com/the-benefits-of-thinking-for-yourself/ Mon, 28 Nov 2022 18:26:37 +0000 https://brego.com/?p=1603 The post The Benefits of Learning to Think for Yourself appeared first on Brego Arts & New Media: Brego.com.

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We live in a time where it’s all too easy to follow the crowd. Everyone’s got an opinion, and sometimes it feels like if you’re not taking sides, you’re being left behind. The media, political figures, even billionaires—they all seem to be pointing fingers, telling us who the “enemy” is. But what if I told you that blindly picking enemies without truly thinking for yourself could be setting you up for a collision course with reality?

My sister Dot once said, “If you wanna get ass, you gotta bring ass.” Translation: If you’re gonna start a fight, you’d better be ready to face the consequences and take the hit if things don’t go your way. Simple but profound. We’ve all seen people—whether online or in real life—pick fights they aren’t prepared to finish. And they often fail to realize that the world doesn’t work the way they think it does. Too often, people fall into the trap of labeling others as enemies, merely because someone else told them to. In a political climate rife with division and animosity, it’s easy to believe the hype and align yourself with the loudest voices. But here’s the thing: this mindset can turn dangerous. People sometimes think they have a personal security detail, like the political leaders or billionaires they idolize, and that there will be no real consequences for their threats or actions.

It’s as if they assume that by picking a side, they can avoid the fallout. But that’s not how the world works. Think about it—there’s an old horror movie trope that comes to mind. You’ve probably seen it: the girl, running away from the bad guy, locks herself in a car thinking she’s safe. But, plot twist, the real danger is already sitting in the back seat. It’s a classic, right?

But you know what? It’s also a metaphor for how we often set ourselves up for trouble by acting out of fear, suspicion, or herd mentality, without doing the work to think for ourselves. My point here is simple: people screw themselves out of good things all the time because they let others dictate who the “villains” are in their lives. Rumors, political rhetoric, and viral headlines make us believe certain groups or individuals are the enemy, when in reality, those labels may be completely misplaced.

When you let others shape your narrative, you lose the ability to make informed decisions for yourself. This takes me back to an old movie scene I can’t quite place, but it’s stuck with me. A detective tells a wealthy widow, “You know that family… they’re a bunch of swindlers with criminal records.” The widow, cool and collected, replies, “I take people as I find them, not as others find them.” In a world where everything is polarized, this wisdom is more relevant than ever.

Instead of letting others tell you who to fear, judge people based on your own experience and intuition. The moment you stop thinking for yourself, you lose control over your own destiny. It’s time to start asking questions. Are the people you’re labeling as enemies really your enemies, or are you just following a script that was handed to you? Are you responding to the world around you or simply reacting because it feels easier?

It’s easy to follow the loudest voice in the room, but remember, that voice isn’t always speaking for you. Learning to think for yourself—questioning what you hear, exploring different perspectives, and making decisions based on your own judgment—can be one of the most powerful tools you possess. It’s not just about avoiding fights; it’s about knowing when to walk away from drama, knowing who to trust, and, most importantly, avoiding unnecessary conflicts. In today’s politically charged climate, it’s tempting to pick sides and start labeling people as “the enemy.”

But before you do, remember: if you’re going to fight, you better be prepared to face the consequences. And if you’re not careful, you might just find yourself in a collision course with reality, with no way out. So, let’s stop letting others tell us who to fear. Let’s start thinking for ourselves and creating our own narratives—ones that don’t involve unnecessary conflict or a misguided sense of security. The real power is in thinking critically and acting with purpose, not reacting mindlessly to the division that surrounds us.

Found the film The Young in Heart (1938)

 

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]]> Severing Ties with Family is Hard, But Sometimes Necessary https://brego.com/severing-ties-with-family-is-hard-but-sometimes-necessary/ Tue, 14 Jun 2022 20:02:00 +0000 https://brego.com/?p=103 Most people who are estranged from their families did not make the decision lightly. For many, it was a decision that was forced upon them because of the toxic and abusive environment they were raised in. If you are in this situation, you are not alone.There are many people who have been estranged from their […]

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Most people who are estranged from their families did not make the decision lightly. For many, it was a decision that was forced upon them because of the toxic and abusive environment they were raised in. If you are in this situation, you are not alone.There are many people who have been estranged from their families, and many more who are currently going through it. It can be a very difficult and isolating experience, but there are ways to cope. Here are some things that may help:

  • Find a support group: There are often local support groups for people who have been estranged from their families. This can be a great way to meet other people in similar situations and to share experiences and advice.
  • Talk to a therapist: If you are struggling to cope with the estrangement, talking to a therapist can be a great way to get support and guidance.
  • Reach out to other family members: If you have other family members who are not estranged from you, reaching out to them can help you feel less alone.
  • Focus on your own happiness: Establishing your own happiness is crucial. Do things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. This can be anything from taking up a new hobby to spending time with friends and family.

Now this is a message for Prince Henry and Meghan Markle

You can hurt once instead of hurting all the time over everything. You will feel sad at those birthdays and holidays, but both sides have to be willing to work on reconciliation, not just one side. Your soul can rest knowing you tried. What was your crime? What was your wife’s crime?

What was worse than what Prince Andrew did? Was he shunned? It’s sad that such psychosis has to be played out in the public eye, but I assure you…the same scenario is being played out in a myriad of lives all over the planet. Race, Class, Wealth, Family Loyalties, Judgmental Outsiders, Haters. On and on.

But you, Prince Harry chose to step outside of the bubble as your mother did…and love as she did. So, you’ll be punished for that at every opportunity. Me, personally, I waited too long, I should have severed ties with my family long ago, but I believed people could change if I was only nicer to them. If only I was “good enough”, “gave enough”, or “took enough”…to win them over.

But it only takes one bad apple, one malcontent to turn an already bitter lot against you for choosing to shine in this…sometimes dark and very brief lifetime. But people make their choices. Some, maybe even a small majority of people would rather hold onto those bitter rotten apples of resentment, regret…color and race, than to embrace love and happiness. They do this because it is easier than dealing with the guilt they have for what they have done. They cannot take that kind of constant reminder.

I came to accept that my blood relative made their alliances and decisions about me long ago, and I was never a factor in their reasoning. I can never be good enough to heal someone of the sickness of racism. It’s too deep and dark. That’s their journey. It’s not easy, Harry and Meghan, but sometimes it’s necessary to cut ties for your own mental health, wellbeing, and happiness. You and your spouse are one. What others think doesn’t mean anything, and don’t you EVER let them disrespect you, your spouse or your children again! They are not God. Who would get in love’s way or treat a 1 year-old badly? People tell on themselves without even knowing it.

“Better a dry crust where there’s love…”

I would leave and I would never look back. The shame is all theirs and the British people, and they’ll eventually kick themselves for treating a baby differently.

Leave it to The Irish Times to run up and down the British Royal Hypocrisy. Well said. And it’s so interesting as a Biracial person, who has been treated differently by both sides, all my life…we are told “It’s all in your imagination” and the slights are “No big deal,” “People deal with real racism, not you.” Well, I get it Meghan Markle…I get it. Your baby is perfect.

Harry and Meghan, your’e royals to us. And that’s what’s burning them up. One son took after the People’s Princess and one son took after the Crown.

Women’s Health has a great in-depth article about when it’s time to distance yourself from harmful and toxic family. 

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