The Meaning of “It Is What It Is” – A Comparison Between Trump Family and Black Community Usage
Language is more than just words; it carries history, culture, and the weight of personal and collective experiences. One phrase that has stood the test of time in different communities is “It is what it is.” While it may seem like a simple expression of resignation, its deeper meaning depends entirely on who is saying it, how they say it, and what’s left unsaid.
Recently, Mary Trump provided a chilling analysis of how this phrase was used in her family-particularly by her uncle, Donald Trump. In her telling, “It is what it is” was not about acceptance but about cold indifference and even cruelty. In contrast, within the Black community, this phrase takes on a far more complex and nuanced meaning.
Let’s explore the stark differences.
Mary Trump’s Family Interpretation: Indifference and Cruelty
Mary Trump recalls the moment Donald Trump dismissed her concerns about her late father’s final wishes with a shrug and the words:”It is what it is, honey bunch.”
To her, and within the Trump family, this phrase was not about accepting fate or dealing with hardship-it was a cold-hearted refusal to care. It meant:
“I could help you, but I won’t because I don’t care.”
This was a pattern in their family, she explains. The phrase was used to cut off emotion, shut down empathy, and signal that suffering-even of a family member-was irrelevant.
This same phrase resurfaced in one of Donald Trump’s most infamous statements during the COVID-19 pandemic when confronted with the fact that thousands of Americans were dying daily. His response?
“It is what it is.”
In this context, it was a terrifyingly casual dismissal of mass death. It conveyed a sense of “These lives don’t matter to me.”
The Black Community’s Interpretation: Survival, Resilience, and Reality
By contrast, “It is what it is” in the Black community is a phrase deeply rooted in resilience, pragmatism, and emotional self-preservation. It is not a tool for cruelty but a coping mechanism in the face of systemic oppression and personal hardship.
Here are some of its core meanings in Black culture:
- Resigned Acceptance – Recognizing that a situation is beyond one’s control, but choosing not to dwell on it. Example: “They denied my loan application again. It is what it is-I’ll find another way.”
- Emotional Detachment for Protection – When someone has been hurt, betrayed, or disappointed repeatedly, they may use this phrase to avoid emotional vulnerability. Example: “I tried my best to keep the relationship together, but she cheated again. It is what it is.”
- Stoic Strength in the Face of Hardship – Used to keep moving forward despite adversity. Example: “Life isn’t fair for us out here, but it is what it is-we still gotta keep pushing.”
- A Warning or Coded Message – Sometimes, it signals that someone is choosing not to react… for now. Example: “They disrespected me, but I ain’t gonna trip. It is what it is.” (Which often means: “I see it, I won’t forget it, but I’m not reacting right now.”)
- Spiritual or Philosophical Understanding – An acceptance that some things are beyond human control. It echoes ancestral wisdom about fate, perseverance, and knowing when to pick battles.
